Trina's Story: The Invisible Struggle With Social Anxiety
Throughout her life, Trina has easily made friends and grew up in a nurturing family. Recently, she moved in with her long-term partner. Although she has a few positive and supportive friendships, Trina avoids attending social gatherings with her partner and at work.
Sometimes, before parties, Trina tells her partner she's not feeling well. She often feels on edge and argues with her partner just before the social gathering begins. This behavior has strained their relationship, and Trina feels guilty for not following through with her social commitments. Occasionally, she forces herself to socialize, but she sweats, feels nauseous, and experiences stomachaches the entire time.
When Trina returns home, she criticizes herself for being weird and worries about whether she'll ever feel normal around strangers. She wants to have fun and talk to other people, but instead, she dwells on her thoughts and worries that others dislike her. Trina feels frustrated and isolated. She wasn't always like this. Several life events lead her to wonder about her likability as a person. Trina has social anxiety, also commonly known as social phobia.
Understanding Social Anxiety
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, social anxiety involves feelings of intense distress and concerns about being judged by others. People who have social anxiety worry about people's opinions and fear that others may view them as flawed, incompetent, or not belonging.
Some anxiety is typical and even healthy. Becoming nervous about an upcoming task or meeting new people is expected. Sometimes, this anxiety is referred to as optimal anxiety, and it helps us perform better. Optimal anxiety signals we are about to do something impactful, and these feelings fade after the event is over.
Social anxiety, however, causes intense worry regarding social situations and affects the our enjoyment of experiences with others. Self criticism and rumination after the social gatherings end are common with social anxiety.
People with social anxiety often have difficulties forming new relationships. They excessively worry about saying or doing something embarrassing in front of others. Sometimes, social anxiety can be so severe that people avoid any situation where they must interact with others, such as school, work, or gatherings. This behavior often leads to isolation and unintended consequences. Without treatment, social anxiety may last for several years or be lifelong.
The Causes of Social Anxiety
A specific event doesn't have to occur for social anxiety to develop. Sometimes, it's a combination of physiology, experiences, environment, social norms, or a stressful situation. People can also have all of these risk factors yet still not develop social anxiety. About 12.1% of people will experience social anxiety at some point.
Social Anxiety vs. Generalized Anxiety
The primary difference between social anxiety and generalized anxiety is that social anxiety is specific to social situations. In contrast, generalized anxiety involves intense worrying about many facets of life, including money, work, school, relationships, ability, and situations out of our control. People with either social anxiety or generalized anxiety worry about not being good enough. Depression is also common for both conditions.
Symptoms of Social Anxiety
Social anxiety is more than just shyness. Symptoms associated with social anxiety include:
Hypersensitivity to criticism
Difficulty being assertive
Low self-esteem and feeling inferior
Physiological changes (sweating, trembling, nausea, or rapid heartbeat)
Muscle tension
Difficulty making eye contact
Fear of being embarrassed or offending others
Anxious anticipation and avoidance of social events or activities
In addition, these symptoms may be short or long-term and range in severity.
Managing Social Anxiety
Social anxiety is highly treatable. A licensed mental health therapist can assess whether you may have social anxiety or another type of anxiety. Typically, mental health therapists will use a combination of evidence-based strategies to help you feel better. These may include cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), talk therapy, and mindfulness techniques. Group and individual counseling are effective strategies to address social anxiety.
There are many forms of social anxiety, ranging from mild to more significant cases. While typical anxiety can help us perform better before job interviews or performances, social anxiety can be debilitating. If you feel social anxiety is negatively impacting your life, talk to a licensed mental health therapist. They can help develop the strategies and tools to cope and alleviate suffering.
